You've always been a happy morning baby... as I've alluded to in past letters, it's only when the clock hits 5 p.m. (and Daddy walks through the door) that you lose your mind.
This morning, however, you freaked out at 8:45 a.m.... for no known reason. Well, known to you but since you were unable to communicate it to me... well, let's just say there was a LOT of screaming and crying.
Can I just tell you how much it hurts me when I can tell your cry is a mix of fear and pain? It absolutely breaks my heart... moreso when I have absolutely no clue what is wrong and how to make it better.
After 30 minutes of out-and-out screaming/sobbing/tearing my heart in two, I discovered that you had a booger in your nose that was bothering you. REALLY? That's all it is? A boogie?
So, I took the ball syringe and attempted to dislodge said mucous from your nostril... but nothing doing. And you were screaming louder than ever. The nurses had told us when you were born to be conservative with the syringe as it could irritate the nostril so your father and I have been careful with it in the past, making sure we didn't use it to much or go up to high in the nose.
But, desperate times call for desperate measures... and after three attempts to dislodge the booger, I got it close enough to the opening of your nostril to pull it out by hand. And it was the largest man-sized booger I have ever seen in my life. I don't know that your father pulls those types of boogers, Hazel. It was THAT big. I thought that having that discomfort taken care of would relieve you... but you were sooooo far gone at that point, we had to coax you back down to a peaceful calm that we're used to with you in the mornings. That took a while. And it caused you to miss your morning nap and you haven't been napping well all day since the routine was broken. We could be in for a long night, you and I. And your father. No way is he getting out of this!
I was at the doctor later that morning and explained the situation to them... and was informed that babies breathe exclusively through their noses, and with a booger that big, you probably had the sensation that you were suffocating.
And now... well, now I feel like a perfect arse for not knowing this and getting frustrated when you wouldn't stop crying!! I'm so sorry, baby girl! Had I known, I would have stuck that syringe up your nose the second you started crying.
I never thought I'd say this... much less post it for all to see and judge me for thinking, but I cannot wait for you to be able to pick your own nose. Won't even care if you eat it... just as long as you can breathe, baby girl. Just as long as you can breathe.
Your Mama... The Rookie.