I Won't Give Up

Dear Girls -
It's been a while since I've written.  And yes, the last post saw me at my wits end trying to figure out how to do this thing called being a Mommy that everyone else in the free world does so easily.  I want you to know that since July... since that last post... things have been great.  And sure... I may have thrown a large package of wipes against the wall... repeatedly... but sometimes when Mommy can't make it to Crossfit, something's gotta give.  And I'm currently working on about 5 different letters to you... I just can't keep up with everything.

In the last few weeks, there's been a song that's been gaining in popularity around here.  Chances are if you're in the car for more than 5 minutes, you'll hear it on one of the radio stations.  I think that it's a beautiful song with a beautiful message... sung, beautifully, I might add.  And I've been butchering singing parts of it to you both in the morning as we have breakfast and get ready for school.  And I'll be the first to admit that it's not pretty.  Oh, the song IS.  Mommy's voice?  Not. So. Much.  But, by now, you understand and even rejoice in how tone-deaf I am.  If you're anything like I was to my mom growing up, you've politely asked me to stop singing in the car.  Or while Christmas caroling.  Or really.... singing in any location that is populated by people. 

With ears. 

Who can hear.

And, maybe that's why you stop your non-stop chatter/screaming/laughing/crying when I sing this song to you in the mornings. The sound of a badger being run through a wood-chipper is curious to you.  I get it.  You just sit there and stare at me... and sometimes try to mumble the words with me.  And in those moments, I feel so much....peace.  This song... it speaks to me on so many levels that I'm not even sure I realize or can verbalize. 

Bottom line:  Right now, where I am at this moment in life... where WE are at this moment in our lives as a family?  It's the soundtrack to our lives.  It gives me hope.  It gives me confidence.  It gives me something that I need.  At the time I need it. 

I always want you to remember this song.  This... poem.  This story of hope. It's beautiful. 

Just like our lives. 

Please always remember that.

I Won't Give Up

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
 

And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

You're worth it.  We're worth it. 

And I'm still looking up.

Love,
Mama