This Is Having Kids

Things My Kids Licked in 2013

1. The slide at McDonald's.
2. Shopping carts at all major grocery stores... and WalMart.
3. Handrails.  All handrails.
4. The dog.
5. Snow.
6. Each others tongues.  In public.
7. The door handle.  Every door handle.
8. The remote.
9. My face.
10. The backs of chairs at any and all public gathering places.
11. Each others faces.
12. Their toes.
13. The drinking fountain.
14. Crayons.
15. Boogers off their faces while sledding.  Who am I kidding?  Eating, licking... potato, potahtoe.
16. Maple syrup off their breakfast plates.
17. The trunk of our tree.
18. The Christmas tree.
19. A rock.
20. My keys.
21. Cake beaters.
22. Have I already mentioned boogers?
23. Bottom of their shoe.
24. The window.
25. A used band-aid.  The dirty, oozy part of the band-aid.

 Things I Hope My Kids Lick in 2014

1. A freakin' vegetable.

The Village

One of the things I've kind of missed since becoming an apostate (gasp!  swoon!  judge!) is the constant sense of community I had through my religion when I was growing up.  When I was a kid, this sense of community was at once awesome and a TOTAL pain in the ass.

Awesome when the adults in your church knew your parents wouldn't be able to come to a basketball game, and showed up to support you as your "Subby Parents".  Several times. And why this is so unbelievably noble is because this was high school girls basketball... in Idaho... in the 90's.  And even though we thought we were bad ass (and compared to schools in Utah that we regularly beat up on, we were)(lookin' at you, Sky View, Logan and Mountain Crest)... c'mon!  Even I can't sit through a high school girls basketball game now without wanting to lay down on the bleachers and take a nice nap... or throw my shoes at the girls on the court because seriously?  GET IT TOGETHER AND TRY NOT TO MAKE MY EYES BLEED WITH THIS NONSENSE.  And yet these people came to support because they knew you, they knew your family and they loved you.  If sitting through high school girls basketball games for someone you're not directly related to you isn't love, I don't know what is.  

A total pain in the ass when the Relief Society President calls your parents to rat you out after  you pass her on the highway while racing a friend on the way to school... and apparently, 92 mph is FROWNED UPON ON THESE HIGHWAYS.

I remember when I moved to Ogden, I was so glad to be moving away from that small town and the seeing eyes and tattletales.  After 18 years of "village" living, I couldn't wait to be anonymous.  Well, as anonymous as you could get in Ogden, UT.  Which, luckily, turned out to be just the right amount.

But, after having children, one of the things that I have struggled with is the idea that my children weren't going to necessarily have the sense of community that I had growing up because they aren't going to be raised LDS... you know, because of the whole apostate thing.

In the last few years, though, I have come to realize that here in Ogden, my girls don't need to be affiliated with a specific religion to feel a sense of community.  To feel loved.  To feel protected and cared for.  Because that sense of community emanates from the city itself.  It is palpable when we walk into the coffee shop and the owners know us by name and ask the girls about the puppy.... when we ride our bikes through the neighborhood on a warm January day, and everyone who drives by honks and waves their encouragement. 

We're not special.  That community feeling, the love for your neighbors and your fellow man... well, it sounds trite, but here the idea of "it takes a village" extends to everyone... young and old.  It's something that our people not only believe, but practice daily. Our people run and bike the trails on a dark, cold and icy January night with nothing but a headlamp and the stars for light, looking for someone who went missing after a hike.  Our people stop what they're doing to help tie ribbons all over town for a family who lost a child.  Our people read about your friend with terminal cancer who lives thousands of miles away, and donate to his fundraiser... simply because at one point, he was a member of this community.  And you're a member of this community. Our people spend a Saturday downtown teaching our kids the importance of taking care of our rivers... teaching them the value of our natural resources.  All the while noting that they are our most valuable natural resource. They are our future village. They're  learning from us and seeing our example of how to take care of our world, our village... our people.

In this town, we're all "Subby Parents"... showing up to take care of each other when we need it. And, that, my friends... that's a community you want to live in.

It's authentic.

It's spiritual.

It's a village.

The Meaning of Christmas - Bird and Bean Style

The Bird is really getting into the holiday spirit this year.  If by spirit, you mean that she wants anything and everything that has ever been or ever will be in existence.... and is something a princess ballerina would wear.

Which, in our household, means that she will be getting a baseball glove and a bat.

The Bean, on the other hand, has decided that what she wants most for Christmas is hot dogs and water. Because that's her favorite. Apparently, nutrition in our house has been way lax since she joined our little family.  And Mommy needs a refresher course on Parenting 101.  Also, she'll be getting a wand.

But, in an effort to get both girls to understand the true meaning of Christmas, we had a discussion about how it's more important to give than to receive, and how making someone else happy or smile is the best gift we can give ourselves.  We talked about how some kids won't get much for Christmas and how we should try to be Santa's Helpers.  We picked a tag off the Giving Tree at day care and went shopping for some of the families that need a little Christmas help.  The girls were awesome and were very excited to pick out a Batman action figure and some fun t-shirts for other people.  We only had a "moment" when The Bean threw a fit because she wanted a Minnie-Mouse shirt, too.

If by "moment" you mean that Mommy had to threaten to cancel Christmas unless she put the shirt away because THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

Ahem.  Overall, it was a positive experience.  And when we were driving home and talking about giving gifts to people, The Bean stated that she weally wanted to give her best fwiend, Ivy, a toy.  And not just any toy... one of her very own toys.

Dude.  DUDE.  How huge is that?  She got it!  The 2YO got it!  I got a little teary-eyed and said that of course!! Of course we can go to The Island of Misfit Toys (our basement) and pick out a very special toy to give Ivy.  And at that, The Bird decided she'd get in on the action for her BFF, Emmy.

So, yesterday we began the tedious process of choosing which toy our friends would like.  The Bean's first selection?  A plastic chicken leg.  Yes... that's what we call toys around our house.  Problem?  I talked her out of that because, you know... maybe Ivy doesn't have a kitchen to put the chicken leg in, mkay?  So maybe something else that she can actually play with.

After a thorough inspection of all of their toys, both girls decided on little racing cars that their BFF's would really like.  Rather than wrap them up  (because who has wrapping paper on December 18??), I put an oversized bow on each of them and off we went.  When we got to school, The Bird had to put her gift in her cubby until her friend got to school, but Ivy was there when The Bean got to class.  It was so touching to watch her run over to her little friend and hand her the toy car with the bow and say "Merry Christmas, Ivy!  I wuv you!"  Seriously... this kid is too good for me.  I explained to the teacher the whole story because I wanted her to be able to tell Ivy's mom why she got a gift from The Bean... and I certainly didn't want her mom to feel like she needed to go out and buy a gift for The Bean.  This was about giving... not getting.  And, you guys?  Parenting win!  She got it!  She totally, completely got it!  ASK ME ABOUT MY MAD PARENTING SKILLZ OVER THE HOLIDAYS!  I GOTS LOTSA ADVICE!!!

That night, when I picked The Bird up from school, I saw that she still hadn't given Emmy her gift.  So, I went with her when she handed it to her friend with a quick "Merry Christmas".  Emmy wasn't sure what to make of the car, so The Bird went on to solemnly explain:  "I'm giving you this car for Christmas.  Because I don't play with it anymore, cuz I don't like it anymore.  Because I'm a big girl.  And big girls don't play with cars.  So, that's why I'm giving it to you."

Face. Palm. So. Hard.

Back to the drawing boards.