Snarky

We've been going through a bit of a... phase... with The Bird.  Wherein she constantly argues with us, while also being a total rat-fink tattletale on her sister for good measure.  I'm really over the tattletale phase and I know I'm in for a long road with it.

But on top of the tattling, is the lying about something her sissy has done so that she can tattle on her.  For instance, when the two little monkey's were jumping on the bed the other night, Mommy happened to be in the room earning her badge for Parenting Toddlers 101 watching.  And I watched Hazel bounce so hard that she flew off the bed and land approximately on her FACE, to which she started screaming in pain because you know... DAMN, GINA... and then started screaming: "MILLIE PUSHED ME!  MILLIE PUSHED ME!"

"Yea.... no.  I was right here, kid.  You did that on your own.  Millie's sitting in the corner of the bed flexing her guns, but she certainly didn't use them on you. You did that little move on your own.  That's all you.  Suck it up, buttercup or no more jumping on the bed." 

And then I promptly outlawed jumping on the bed.  When asked why, I told them that I told that doctor and the doctor said so.  And when asked why to that, I told them because that's the way the song goes.  And I don't make the rules.  Geez... wonder who Hazel gets her lying from?

Anyhoo, after a particularly awful night in parenting which included me telling both girls that neither one of them was allowed to say the word "share" - because I just couldn't handle listening to the fight of:  "Hazo, no share!" "Yeah, I DID SHARE, Mommy!  Millie's sayin' I didn't share!" "Hazo, no share!"  "YES!  I DID SHARE!  SHE'S SAYIN' I NOT SHARING, MOMMY!!!" - and also included Benny taking away all of Hazel's princess dresses (yes, those are now in my home.  awesome.) and letting her think he threw them all way... mostly because at that point, we had both regressed to wild animals and had to assert our dominance, we had the following conversation:

Benny:  "Hey, babe.  Do you think Hazel's attitude lately might be attributed to our snarkiness with each other?"

Me: "What snarkiness?"

Benny: "Just... our general snarkiness that you and I as adults know is sarcasm, but maybe to a 3-year-old it's the way you talk to people."

Me:  "No.  I don't think it's because we're snarky.  I think she just likes to be difficult. She'll ask me a question, and then as soon as I give her an answer, she's all:  NO, IT'S NOT!  Swear to God, this morning as I was cracking eggs in the bowl, she asked me what I was doing and I said:  Cracking eggs.  And then she said:  NO, YOU'RE NOT CRACKING EGGS!"  

Benny: "Well, in her defense, I never believe a thing you say either."

*Silence*

Me:  "Is this the snarkiness you were referring to?"

Benny:  "This is the snarkiness I was referring to."