Short Stories

Because who has time to sit down and write a blog entry anymore?  That's what Facebook is for. 

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Millie is currently obsessed with stories.  OB.SESSED.  I can't sit down anywhere for any reason without her noticing and hollering 'GAAAAHHHH!' (what I suspect is baby-talk for: YOU'RE SITTING DOWN!  LET ME GO GET A BOOK!)  and bringing me over a farm animal book to read.

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-Millie's Rules-
Rule #1:  Mommy doesn't get to sit down. EVER.

Rule #2:  If Mommy does sit down, she's probably eating.  Which means... YAY!  More food for me.  Unless she's on the potty.  And if she's on the potty, that's a perfect time for her to read me a book. SCORE.

Rule #3: Milk should always be served warm.  Unless I don't want it warm.  Then it should be served cold.  But always start with warm.  Because if you start with cold, I'll kill you with a look.

Rule #4: Tubby's are for losers.

Rule #5: The only good pj's are no pj's.

Rule #6: If there are stairs, I will climb them.  No matter what Mommy and Daddy say.

Rule #7: BANANA!

Rule #8: Doctors are evil.

Rule #9: It's something o'clock.  It's book reading time somewhere.

Rule #10: There will be crying and fussing when I get in my carseat.  No matter what. 

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Millie has had a cough for about 3 weeks now.  How bad of a parent does it make me that I'm just letting her cough because of the trauma she goes through whenever we set foot in a doctor's office?

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Hazel loves the dentist.  WHAT?  I used to have to be strapped down.  Hell... my heart rate still shoots through the room whenever I sit on one of those chairs.  She's sick in da mind, I tell you.

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We have started threatening Hazel with removing a dolly from her bed if she comes out of her room at night.  It's surprisingly effective.  And I only feel about 60% guilty for using this as a parenting tool.

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She's 14 months old and it's still a 2-man job to change Millie's diaper or clothes.  To say I'm over it is putting it gently.

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I don't know why but these last two weeks, the girls have just gotten REALLY heavy.  Like... REALLY. HEAVY.

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The toddler bed has been a big hit with Hazel.  She feels like a big girl.  I just feel old.  How did it happen so fast?

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I wore a skirt to work today fully aware that I haven't shaved my legs in a couple of weeks.  But too tired and beat down to care. MOTHERHOOD.

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Unbelievable as it may sound, I have become numb to crying kids.  That place in my soul that used to tear every time one of the littles cried and left me a quivering mess of nerves has finally scarred over completely. 

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Hazel was upset yesterday because I got mad at her for pushing Millie down during a temper tantrum for the AGES.  After she had calmed down and apologized to Millie, she sat in her chair at dinner and her lower lip started to tremble.  I asked what was wrong and she said:  "I sad."  Why?  "Cuz I pushed Minnie."

That sound you heard was my heart breaking in half.  Such a sweetie.  Such a snotty little sweetie.

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I'm really worried that Millie's going to forever be known in our house as Minnie.  Hazel needs to figure out her L's soon... because it's rubbing off on Mommy. 

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I am playing volleyball again.  Sans ankle braces.  Cuz I like to gamble with my marriage.  Benny has already informed me that if I jack them up again because I don't have the braces on, HE'S OUT.