Busy Knees

I've been so bad about writing lately.  Things have just been so incredibly busy.  And I know I used to say before I had kids that I was super busy... what with all my eating and sleeping and such.  And I just had no time to blog because when I wasn't sleeping or eating or riding my bike  - btw, not sure I know how to ride a bike anymore -  I was busy watching TV.  Specifically, I was busy rushing home to catch the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Because that's what my busy was back in the day.  Slap Bet, Slapsgiving, yellow umbrella... I hardly had time to get my weekly massage and mani/pedi.  People, you should see what my toes look like these days.  It's not pretty.  But it's nothing compared to my legs, because et's be honest... if my legs actually saw a razor at this point of my life, they'd spontaneously start to bleed in anticipation. 

These days, my "busy" is legit.  Legit as in go, go, go from the moment I wake up in the morning to the second I actually fall face first into the bliss of a cool pillow on my bed at night.  And none of it is about me.  God... remember when things were about ME?  When was that?  2008?  Remember when I didn't worry about having food in the house because I could pretty much scrape by on marshmallows and mustard? With a toddler and a baby, you don't get to have the luxury of not having food in the house.  OMG!  Remember when not having food in the house was a luxury because it meant that you could just run out to a burger joint and grab something really quick?  GEEZ!!  Remember when the term "really quick" was a part of my vocabulary when talking about doing something?

Enter the toddler who actually needs some type of nutrition 25/7  And no.... that 25 is not a typo.  With a toddler, every day is longer than it should be.  (But, on a positive note, when The Toddler is happy, you wish the day was 30 hours long!) And you have to make sure she has access to some type of food item all 25 of those hours.  And that "luxury" of having no food in the house?  Now it's THE END OF THE WORLD.  It's not like I can throw her a chicken bone to gnaw on because I haven't had time to grocery shop (in, I dunno.... 3 weeks?) which means we have ZERO food in the house.  (And that's including food that one might classify as edible food-like substances)(like, perhaps the Velveeta Shells and Cheese that I just ate because I've apparently thrown the towel in on nutrition today.)( trust me... that's NOT food.) (and i still have no idea what i had been smoking when i decided to purchase that crap a year ago.)  Not that I haven't thought about the chicken bone once or twice... especially this morning for breakfast when all she wanted was "boshe" (toast).  And I was all... Mommy hasn't had time to grocery shop SINCE YOU WERE BORN, so there's no toast today.

These things... they don't go over so well with The Toddler.  And I don't blame her.  I mean, she's not asking for prime rib at 7 a.m.  She's not demanding chocolate cake. Hell... she not even asking for cereal (today)  And, she's not asking me to try to explain to her why it is that I'm thinking of going blonde just to distance myself from all those crazy conservative brunette female "politicians" currently yelling nonsense into the nearest megaphone.  She just wants a piece of freakin' toast.

Seriously... I gotta go grocery shopping.

But when you have kids, and you work full-time and the only time you have to yourself during the weekday is lunch hour which you have decided will be your workout time JUST TO SAVE YOUR SANITY... when are you supposed to go grocery shopping?  I've seen those women who do it with their kiddos and yes, even made that mistake once myself (NEVER AGAIN).  I'm one of those women that likes to shop sans the screaming toddler who is more than a little bored of riding up and down the aisles.  It's like being on vacation... going to the grocery store and taking my time up and down each aisle. When you are by yourself, you get to actually test the  avacadoes to determine if they are ripe, rather than just grabbing the first few you see because The Toddler has somehow managed to pull the very bottom cucumber (you know, the one holding the whole pile up?) out and send the rest of them spilling everywhere.  Which means now you have to make a mad dash for the exit... lest you be banned from THIS store, too.

Anyway, it looks like we won't be having toast for breakfast tomorrow, either.  Cuz  Benny's doing work with the GOAL Foundation today.  Otherwise, we actually would take the girls to the store and tag team a grocery order. At Costco. Because they have samples... and shoving a sample in her mouth keeps The Toddler happy.  And serves as her snack for the day.  Two birds, one stone.  Word.

But... I digress.  I've been busy.  But the other day I had some time to myself and happened to read an old blog that I ran with a friend.  We would post our IM chats that we had which, I still believe, were comic genius.  Anyway, going through those and reading them was so much fun because we talked about things that had been happening in our lives that honestly, I had completely forgotten about and it just made me all sorts of sentimental about the memories.

And about my 20's.

So, without further ado... an update as to what's been going on the last few weeks.  And a promise to myself to be better about updating.  I have no excuse since I've got both kiddos going to bed no later than 7:30 every night. 

A couple of months ago, I started working out at Crossfit Ogden. I'd pretty much ruled out crossfit for years because it seemed too trendy.  Look at me.  The triathlete.  Writing something off as too trendy. Self-aware, much?  Anyway, I was neck-deep in triathlon training and, you know... why would anyone lift weights... voluntarily??  Fast forward to 2011 and I had at least three chins and multiple back rolls of fat.  I wouldn't go out and run by myself because.... blah.  I don't want to run.  Besides, it hurts to run.  My knee hurts when I run... blah, blah, blah.  My achilles hurt when I run... blah, blah, blah.  So, I decided to try crossfit and immediately fell in love with it.  That is until after the second week, until my left knee blew up to the size of an elephant.  Not the size of an elephants knee, mind you.  THE ACTUAL ELEPHANT. 

Dr. Benny referred me to a doctor friend of his, who then referred me to an orthopedic surgeon... because I had a torn meniscus.  No big deal for the surgeon who obviously wanted to get in there and fix it. Cuz that's how he be paid.  But after he explained that if it was one type of tear, it was only about a week of recovery, but if it was another type of tear, it was about 6 months and they wouldn't know until they went in... I told them (kindly)(so as not to piss off the surgeon with the scalpel) that they could take their surgery and shove it.  How in the world was I going to voluntarily roll the dice that may result in crutches for 6 weeks when I've got a 21 month old and a 5 month old to take care of.

Not fair to them.

Not fair to Benny.

Not fair to ME!

So, instead I just had the good doctor remove all of the excess fluid and told him I would see how I felt and go from there.  I felt pretty good until a few weeks ago when I noticed it starting to swell a little... and hurt a lot. I've modified my training so that the knee is protected from certain lifts.  But, I have not managed to modify my gardening and a couple of weeks ago, I was in an argument with the crab grass in the front garden and while crawling from one patch of grass to be pulled to another I heard a distinct crunch in my knee.  To which the crab grass laughed heartily.  In other news, I have decided the the only way to deal with said grass at this point is to go nuclear and this fall will be tearing out the entire garden, spraying it to kill everything and starting over again next year.  Benny... please make a note as this directly affects you and your workload.  You're welcome.

*Ahem*

So, I went back in to beg the doc for an MRI so I could know what I was facing (he agreed).  While I was there, I asked him to look at my other knee because I'd been having some IT band problems.  Yea.... no.  Another torn meniscus.  Oh, and btw... can you also look at my achilles tendons?  I have these big bumps on both of them.  Tendonosis?  What's that? WHAT DO YOU  MEAN PARTIAL TEARS?

So, that visit to the doc was productive.  Yay, me.  To be honest, what's really bothering me lately is my left achilles.  Nothing that a shot won't supposedly help... but since I'm the chick that needs gas just to make it through a tooth cleaning....  Holy crap, can you imagine how bad a shot in the achilles is gonna hurt? 

Of course, everyone around me jumps on crossfit being bad for me.  (This includes the first doc).  But, I ultimately have to correct them.  Crossfit didn't jack up my knees.  My knees have hurt for years but I ignored them. I blamed part of it on college basketball.  I've already had two surgeries on my left knee for overuse due to sports.  The right knee... well, it was just a matter of time.  Peeps bag on crossfit when they find out I'm injured.  But, I've been injured doing triathlon (hello, sunburn and twisted ankles from running), playing volleyball (hello, sprained ankle!) playing basketball (hello, jacked up back!), riding my bike (hello, road rash and sore tush!), swimming (hello, flip turns at the wall that I am still unable to do without drowning!).  So I think I can safely put to rest the myth that crossfit hurt my knee.  Ultimately,  I think the problem is that I have a medium frame, which couldn't support the fat that I gained during pregnancy.  And, let's face it... I was 20 pounds overweight when I first got prego.  So, it wasn't just the 40-50 pounds I gained during the pregnancy.  It was a total of about 60-70 pounds extra that my body was having to handle every day.

Are we really surprised that the cartilage in my knees couldn't take it?

It's a working theory, but a theory nonetheless.

I get the MRI for both knees on Tuesday and then on Wednesday, we'll know how to proceed.  If it's the 6-month recovery tear, I'll be suffering with the pain for another couple of years and just keep losing weight, hoping that will help.  I'm also going to start re-taking glucosomine and fish oil.  I had been taking those when I initially found out the diagnosis... but I think somehow it was bothering Millie so decided to go off of them until I was done nursing.

Speaking of which... Monday is Millie's last day of nursing.  I made it to 6 months... woo-hoo!  I just don't think it's a good idea to be on the medication I'm on just to have milk much longer.  I've already been on it 4 months longer than they recommend.  Plus... that sucker costs me $40 a week!!!  AND I have to somehow get to the other side of town to pick it up!  LIKE I HAVE THAT KIND OF DOUGH OR TIME! 

Since starting crossfit, I've lost about 30 pounds.  I only need to lose 40 more.  Which should not be easy since I'm going to stop nursing on Monday.  I should gain about 15 pounds by Friday.

Because that's how I roll at 34.  Dramatically different than 24.

But, even with the knee issue and the weight issue?  Being 34 is so incredibly better than being 24.  I wouldn't trade it for brand new knees.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some spare time and I think I might go grocery shopping.