Four Months

Dear Hazel,
Today you turned four months old. FOUR MONTHS!!! Unbelievable! I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. I almost don't remember the first few days and weeks with you when I was beside myself with fear that I would accidentally break you, or beside myself just because I couldn't figure you out and you were crying all. the. time.

Four months later and I have a whole different baby. And really... are you still a baby? Or, are you a little girl with a little personality starting to emerge? I guess it depends on the day.

Right now, everything is going into your mouth. EVERYTHING. Including mommy's ear, mommy's hair, the burp cloth, any toy in the vicinity and your shirt. And the slobber... good grief the amount of slobber. There's gotta be some sort of scientific use for the amount of slobber you produce. You never know, right? It could be the cure for athletes foot, Hazel!

I suppose this means that shortly, we should be expecting your first tooth. Which we're really looking forward to... since you've been sick for the last three weeks and are just finally starting to feel better. That's right... we've weathered excema, a stuffy nose, an ear infection and a case of RSV back-to-back-to-back - which also means that you're like the Typhoid Mary of the nursery at day care - and now we get to fun of teething. I mean, really... who would want to be a baby through this crap? Certainly not me, but again... you have more grace than I do so maybe it won't be a big deal. Babies go through it every day and seem to come out on the other side only slightly scarred.

Just this week, you've started demanding to be held while I go about my daily routine. And no longer is me holding you while you look over my shoulder sufficient for you. Oh, no. You're a big girl now and you want to watch what I'm doing. Going to the fridge.... opening the door... getting out your antibiotic (with which I mean to ruin your life)... filling the syringe.... ALL FASCINATING.

You're also fascinated by new faces. Especially other babies and kids. Your favorite faces lately are not mommy and daddy. Oh no. In fact, we bore you. But you do love your Auntie Kaylene and your honorary big brother Gavin. When they come over to visit, you can't take your eyes off of either.

You've currently discovered your hands. And your tongue. And that you can use both to battle bottle or the binkie. You have also discovered standing. Which you love to do with help from mommy and daddy. You really like to stand on our laps and look around... as if to say: Wow! The view from up here is soooo different!! To help with your new-found joy, we bought you a jump-a-roo this week, and O.M.G.!!! It's Disneyland in our living room! Only without the lines. And the need to wear pants!



This last month, you've started to grab things at will. Usually, the end result is putting them in your mouth, as I've already mentioned. Yesterday as I held you in my lap, I held your favorite teether above your head and you would reach up, grab it, put it in your mouth... and then look at me and let it go. I'm convinced you did this so that I would put it above your head again and we could start the routine over. This went on for what seemed like hours. It was awesome.

You are smiling so much these days. And every once in a while, you'll throw out a giggle. Usually it's when daddy has done something to you. You've also taken up delighted shrieking. And you sure like to talk... and boy do you tell some stories. I have a feeling that you're gonna be a talker. You have such a happy disposition, Hazel. In fact, all of your reports at day care say that you are happy every day... and you've only ever had one report that you weren't happy and that was the first day back from your RSV quarantine, and I think you were just a little discombobulated.

I also have a feeling that you've already figured out how to manipulate me and daddy. You have been known to fake your crying. Be it when we're suctioning out your nose (which, okay... I admit, it's a bit disturbing to have that shoved up your nose), or when you're playing in your jump-a-roo and we happen to turn away for a moment and you sense that you're not the center of attention for a split second. I'm thinking that we're going to have to let you cry it out in your jump-a-roo... just to show you that you can be by yourself with us in clear sight and be okay.

Another new thing this month is your absolute hatred of your car seat. This is different from the last couple of months where you found solace in your car seat and loved to take little nappy-poos whenever you were in it for more than 10 minutes. In fact, when we first started taking you to day care, you usually fell asleep in the 8 minutes it took to get to day care from the house. Now? Not. So. Much. What you prefer to do now is cry from the minute I pick you up from day care and put you in the car seat aaaalllllllll the way home. Day trips on the weekend used to be a lot of fun since it allowed us to get out of the house and the motion of the car lulled you to sleep. But something fundamental has changed in you in regards to the car seat and now if you're in the car seat, you're awake. And if you're not crying... well, it's just a matter of time. I'm truly hoping that this, too, shall pass. Soon.

You're growing like a weed, Hazel Bird. In the last two weeks, you've gained 19 oz. And you're now comfortably wearing 6-month old clothes. Not that we don't try to still fit you into your 3-month old clothes... since we have a ton of those and they're soooo cute. You're still in the 100th percentile in both height and weight and weigh over 16 pounds already. So... basically, in less than four months, you more than doubled your birth weight. I really need you to start leveling things out, baby girl. You're getting awfully heavy and I'm worried that you're gonna outgrow your swing. Which is the only thing we've been able to get you to sleep in since you got sick. And if you get sick again... well, the swing has a weight and height limit and you're knocking on both of those doors. Plus... that car seat that you loathe right now? Getting awfully heavy!!!

You still need to be rocked to sleep for your naps and for bedtime. Something that used to really stress me out. I didn't have the "touch" like your daddy has and whenever I stayed home with you, or had to put you down when daddy wasn't there... well, I had a special anxiety about that. But, being home last week with you while you were sick gave me new confidence. I have, in effect, conquered The Daddy Special and have experienced first-hand how lethal it is. You have no defense for it... and it's really boosted my confidence as a mommy.

You also still are really fascinated by light and love watching the Olympics on the tv.

Since we've had you sleeping in your swing at night (due to the ear infection) you've been throwing down 10-11 hour sleeps. You've also begun to self-soothe by sucking your thumb. In fact, the other day I put you in the swing just for a minute while I did some thing around the house. Next thing I knew, you were sucking your thumb and were out like a light. I didn't even have to bring out The Daddy Special. However, the binkie isn't working well for you anymore. In fact, I'd say that you only want or need it 3% of the time. The other 97%, your daddy and I have to figure something else out. But, I'll tell you... that 3%? When you will allow it? GOLDEN.

I've been having a hard time keeping up with breast milk production. So we're giving you more formula than we really like to. My hospital visit last month didn't help production at all and whenever you feed, you pull off at about 4 minutes and look at me as if to ask: Sersly? That's it?

The good news is, now that you're 4-months old, you can probably start rice cereal. When we go to the doctor (again) on Friday for your next round of immunizations, we're hoping to get the go-ahead from him.

You have brought so much joy to our lives, Hazey. We can't imagine life without you and every day we wake up, we're so excited to start our day with you. You are an amazing little girl and we are so blessed that you are a part of our family.

Love,
Mama