Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Well.  That was fun.

And cathartic.  Which is the whole reason for this blog, right?

Let's all take a deep breath in... and out.  And try to remember that it's Christmas, and we're supposed to be full of love, joy and egg nog.  (Side note:  How much do I loves me some egg nog?)

I guess I should probably write Millie and Hazel's 9 month and 25 month updates.  As their 10 month and 26 month updates are due in a couple of days.  But, I'm not.  I'm putting it off for just one more day.  Because I need to talk about something other than the kiddos.  Whom, I feel like I need to clarify, I love more than life itself.  I would do anything for those two.  Yes... even including The Toddler.  Because, let's face it... she's making me a better parent every day.  And sometimes when you work a muscle that has never been worked (like my parenting muscle, for example)(it actually sits low in my belly and makes me want to vomit from time-to-time) it hurts.  A lot.  But that hurt makes it stronger.  So, theoretically, by the time Millie hits the Terrible Two's, I'll be an amazing mother.  And she won't have nearly the damage that I've done to Hazel.

That's the theory anyway.

Could go out the window in a split second, though... considering she's the polar opposite of her big sis.

Anyhoo.... today, taking a page from my girl Momo, I'm writing a quick little post about things I'm grateful for.  In my defense, I will grant you that many of the things I am grateful for may end up being shallow.  That's how you know I wrote it and not someone pretending to be the strongest woman in the world... who accidentally taught her 2-year-old the F word.

1 - My husband.  When I said "I do" to Benny in 2003, I had no idea what an amazing life we would be able to build together.  He is, quite simply, amazing to me in every way.

2 - My girls.  I cannot imagine my life without the rugrats.  They are beautiful souls sent to this earth to cut me down to size, and to teach me humility and love.  I thought I knew love before I had them.  I HAD NO IDEA.

3 - Crossfit.  Specifically Crossfit Ogden.  How I heart thee.  If you weren't in my life, I would be a terrible mother, wife and employee.  With your help, I shoot right up to mediocre in all aspects... and that is HUGE.

4 -  Is it just me, or does having to actually leave the house to shop seem like a ginormous waste of time?  Does finding a parking space seem a pain worthy of morphine?  This is why God invented

5 - My mother for making sure that I never identified with Barbie and all of that other crap that is out there for girls to compare themselves to.  There are so many legitimate things in this world to worry about... looking like a model?  Not one of them.

6 - Tubby Time.  Oh my, do the girls love tubby time!  Even Millie, who was slow to adopt her love of baths (much like me with my love of beer) gets into it now.  Tubby time gives at least one of the parents a few minutes of solitude (which inevitably ends up being housework) while the other one sings songs while torturing The Toddler by washing her hair... and cajoles The Baby when The Toddler's screams freak her out.  But, besides the hair washing, both girls adore playing in the water.  Millie lets me know when she's had enough.  She pulls herself up to a standing position and looks at me as if to say:  We're done here.  I'll take her out, dry her off and the let her stand outside the tub and watch her sissy.  It's a great way to kill time AND get the stank out from behind the kiddos ears.  Twofer!  Some parents do arts and crafts.  I do tubby time.  It works.

7 - Kale salad.  Enough said.

8 - The Lord's Prayer.  WHAT?  Yea, yea... not what you think.  I'm grateful that all of the tv watching I've done for years prepared me properly for reciting the prayer during my god daughter's christening last week.  Look at that... not even sure if christening is spelled right.  Or if it should be capitalized.  Is god daughter one word or two? Not sure.  But you know what?  I KNOW THE LORD'S PRAYER. I may not be sure that the Lord only has the one prayer.  And I may not be convinced that His will is being done on earth as it is in heaven.  Matter of fact, I think he's got better things to do with his will than decide if the Denver Bronco's should win.  Hey, I'm not even sure there is a Lord.  But I do know that this little recovering Mormon out Lord's Prayered her recovering Catholic husband's arse on Saturday.

9 - Speaking of the Denver Broncos.... I am ridiculously grateful that the Patriot's put an end to the "miracle" that is Tim Tebow... and those other guys he plays with.  Look... it's not that I'm offended that he prays during games.  And it's not that I'm offended that people are talking about it and how God must surely be with him.  It's just that I think that God/Buddah/The Flying Spaghetti Monster has better things to do with his/her/its time than help some quarterback who couldn't throw a diaper to me if it was more than 8 yards, win a game. Simple as that.  And people who think differently may have to lick my armpit.

10 - Louis CK.  He has made my dismal days of parenting a little brighter.

11 - My Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.  Complete with gifts under the tree.  This is the first year we've ever bothered with gifts.  I can't wait to start a tradition with the girls like my parents did for me!

12 - Friends who think that when I put oats and cupcake sprinkles in a bag and attach it to a note claiming that it's reindeer food... that I have actually been crafty.  Little do they know that one time I bedazzled the hell out of Hazel's stocking.

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