21 Months of The Bird

Dear Hazel,
This weekend, you turned 21 (months).  We celebrated by going to a pool party where you were almost successful in giving Mommy a heart-attack by jumping into the deep end.  And then after you survived that near drowning, you were pushed to the ladder, climbed up and REPEATED the insanity for the rest of the day.

When you turn 21 years, I can only hope that you won't show as much persistence with what normally occurs for 21st birthdays.  And, just to be on the safe side, promise me that you won't go near a pool that day, mkay?

So, the last two months have been amazing for you.  You are growing and developing in leaps and bounds.  You continue to mimic your Daddy and I every time we turn around.  You also appear to mimic Millie... and you want to sit in her car seat or her jump-a-roo whenever she's not in it.  And if YOU can't sit in it, then your dolly will.  Sometimes, it's a race for Mommy to get Millie into the jump-a-roo before you can stick your dolly in it.  Today, it was Raggedy Ann in the car seat.

You love your little sister something fierce.  And, I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating:  You make my heart melt every morning when you run out to give Millie a hug and a kiss.  And every evening when you give her a kiss goodnight before she goes to bed.  And in between when you want to hold her, or hold her hand in the car when we're driving.  You can't get enough of your sissy.  And she feels the same.  Which makes us feel like we're the luckiest parents in the world.

You have been pretty happy lately.  Oh, trust me.  You have your moments of bi-polarness that comes with just being a toddler in a big world where, yea... you don't have a whole lot of power in yet.  Not that you don't try to have all the power.  But either we've grown numb to it, or you've decided that being happy is better than being difficult.  Could be a little bit of both.  But whatever it is, it is most welcome.

You've learned how to pout.  That didn't take long.  You pout about things like Mommy not letting you drive the car.  Or the nice girl on the playground who stopped you from picking up the gum she just spit out.  But, it's a cute pout.  One that makes me feel bad for you and giggle at the same time.  You also demand a binkie.  You remember... that thing you REFUSED when you were a baby?  That's the one.  And you want your binkie all the time.  And if you can't have your binkie, you'll gladly take Millies. And then hand it to me.  Or try to put it back in her mouth.  Because, how in the world did it get out of there in the first place?

When I pick you up from day care these days, you walk out with me and wait patiently for me to put Millie down so that we can put you in the car first.  I have to do it this way because I'm terrified that you'll run out in the traffic and get killed in the 2 seconds it takes for me to get the carrier secured into the car.  So, I set Millie on the sidewalk and turn around to pick you up.  As soon as I set her down... THE GAME IS ON.  You take off running and giggling back to the door for day care.  You love the chase.  Mommy doesn't mind the chase, unless she's sore from Crossfit... which is 90% of the time.  Sometimes, I have to trick you into getting closer to me before I set Millie down so I have a chance at catching you. But you seem to be picking up on my cleverness.

You are full of words these days, too. Besides truck (tuck), tractor (takta), and binks (binkie), you've now incorporated a word that makes me giggle: Nope.

Hazel, do you want Mommy to change your diaper?  

Nope.

Hazel, do you want to go outside?  

Nope.

Hazel, can you please stop licking the pool deck?

Nope.

Hazel, would you like to eat chocolate cake and stay up all night long? 

Nope.

Seriously... there's just something about the word "nope" that cracks me up and is so much better to hear than the word "no".  It might be the emphasis you put on the P, or it might be that I'm seeing so much of myself in you by you just using that word vs the standard "no".  I don't know.  But it's honestly so heartwarming to me.

You also say "yea"... a lot.  This upsets your Daddy as he's all about you speaking correctly.

Hazel, do you want some grapes?  

Yea.  

Yessssss.  Say yesssss.

Yesssssssssssss.

Okay! Let's get some grapes.

Meanwhile, when Daddy's not looking, Mommy continues to say "Yea".  Because I can't remember not to say sh%t, d#^m and h*ll in front of my little mimic.  There's no way I'm going to remember to say "Yes" instead of "Yea".  Call it the White Trash in me.  I can't change.

And yea... let's talk about the swearing for a bit.  Honestly... has the music industry always had this much swearing???  I am now FORCED to listen to nursery songs because I think that you like Chris Brown a leetle too much and he's got a couple of f-bombs in his song that Mommy keeps forgetting about.  See?  These are things that I always thought parents needed to chill about.  So the FCC allows the words "ass", "hell" and "damn" to be played on the radio.  Who cares?  Good parenting should overcome that.  THE REST OF US SHOULDN'T BE FORCED TO LISTEN TO EDITED VERSIONS OF WORDS THAT, LET'S BE HONEST, ARE THEY EVEN SWEAR WORDS? 

And then I had a toddler who is an absolute sponge.  And I really don't want to be raising "that kid" in day care.  The one that teaches all of the other kids the four-letter words.  Trust me... every class has that kid.  I still remember "that kid" that I went to school with. 

Anyway, we're trying to get you to say "yea" or "yes" a lot.  Because this means you're not being disagreeable and are willing to do what we ask you.  Because if we ask you something and you say "nope", and then we force you to do it anyway... THE TODDLER IS NOT HAVING IT.  But, if we can trick you by asking you questions that you say "yea" to... in rapid-fire succession, and then throwing in the one that you would normally say "no" to... well, it's like magic.  Because even though you don't necessarily want to do something, it's like you know that you just said "yea"... and there's no going back on "yea".  Or, at least you haven't quite figured that out yet.

It's awesome.

And, you have recently put together your very first phrase.   I had always dreamed of the first semi-coherent sentence would be something like:  "Mommy.  I love you and you're the most beautiful Mommy in the world.  Can I rub your feet with lotion, please"

Or something like that.

Never, in any of my dreams, was your first phrase:  "NO WANT IT!"  The good news?  Now we know that if we give you the banana anyways when you say "NO WANT IT!", that it will likely end up on the floor.  The bad news?  Holy crap... now you really think you have a choice in your life.  No bueno.

You've also become super "helpful" in the last couple of months.  You pick things up off the floor.... or the table... or out of the trash can... or out of your nose... and hand it to me.  Yay. Mommy.

This has been an epic summer for you so far.  We've gone to the beach, we've gone swimming, we've gone to parades, we've hit the park every weekend, we've gone to Kangaroo Zoo and let you jump around all afternoon, we've hit petting zoos, we've gone to the farm, we have gone to the farmers market so you can ride the choo-choo train and the covered wagon.  WE HAVE WORN OURSELVES OUT FOR YOU!  And you have loved every single minute of it. 

You continue to adore music and moving your body. You've started to jump up and down as well.  And you're getting some good height! Your new favorite song (and I can't believe I'm admitting this) is Chris Brown's Yeah 3X's.  We are required to listen to this song on the way too and from school.  Or whenever we're out and about.  For whatever reason, you LOVE this song. Mommy used to love the song... but Mommy's kind of over it right about now.

You love to take walks to the park with your little sister.  Our favorite park is Mt. Ogden... because it's super shady and you don't burn your little tush going down the slid.  And can we talk about the slide for a second?  Because, kiddo... you have NO FEAR.  You go to the biggest slide they have and just launch yourself like it's just another day at the... well, park.  And if there are other kids there, oh, you're ALL ABOUT other kids. And you're also all about climbing and being a monkey.  Mostly when Mommy's not looking.  The first time this happened, I turned my head for one second to make sure I didn't step in dog poop and when I turned back to tell you to that it was time to go, I discovered that you were hanging by one arm - BY ONE ARM, HAZEL - from a bar at the top of the playground equipment.  I knew that if I yelled and ran over to you, it would startle you and you might let go... and rather than wearing the poop-eating grin you were sporting, you'd have a broken FACE.  I tried to nonchalantly run over to you, but when I was about 8 feet away, you lost your grip and fell face first on to the ground.  About a 7 foot drop.  I have no idea how you didn't scrape you face along the giant beam that you landed by.  And I have no idea how you didn't break a bone.  What I do know is that it scared you... but not enough to keep you away from other death traps.  There are currently bets out there to see who is going to survive your childhood.  You or me.  I'd say right now it's 70-30 in your favor.

You still love to eat.  Although, I will say that sometimes you don't eat your whole meal... because you're too excited about playing or rough housing with Daddy.  OMG do you love rough housing with Daddy.  It's the best part of the day.  You're also learning how to play with other kids and adore hanging out with Gavin and Jilly. Gavin took you to a parade and made sure that you didn't get lost.  Cuz that's what big brothers do. 

You're still a Daddy's Girl, but you are getting over your need to have him hold you the minute he walks in the door.  You still run to him and jump up for a hug, but you're able to go about your business after that.  And, can I be honest?  AWESOMENESS. 

Last night, you made me laugh harder than I've ever laughed at you.  Seriously, baby girl.  You discovered last night how much fun it is to make Mommy laugh.  For the first time, you did something purposely to make someone else, besides yourself, laugh.  It all started when you ate a grape that, perhaps, was a little sour or tart.  I happened to be watching you eat and caught the fist-clenched, eyebrows-arched, lips-pursed, full-body shiver that followed.  And it CRACKED me up.  You didn't catch on at first, probably thought that Mommy was just being weird again.  But then you had another tart grape and another full-body shiver.  And Mommy lost it again!  That's when you figured it out, and started making the tart-grape face.  Over.  And over.  And over, again!  Seriously... I could not stop laughing.  And you kept making that face.  Pretty soon, I asked:  "Hazel.  Can you make Mommy laugh?"  And because you're brilliant, you understand exactly what I'm asking and pull the tart-grape full-body shiver face.  Daddy couldn't figure out what all the ruckus was about... and was sure I was exaggerating how funny you were.  But then he caught a glimpse of "The Face".  And, well... he realized that I was right.  Funniest.  Thing. Ever. (below is a pic of "the face"... along with a scrape of "the nose".  it's rough being a toddler)

I think we realized that it was the first time you've ever recognized that something you're doing is making someone else laugh.  And you LURVE it.  I suspect that you're going to have quite the sense of humor when you grow up.... which is good because one of the most important tools you can have in your personality?  Humor.  How in the world do you think I survived college?  How in the world do you think I survived those first few dates with you Dad?  For the love, how in the world do you think I have survived every day of your childhood thus far?  I have to laugh.  Laugh at you.  Laugh at your Daddy.  Laugh at myself. Laugh at this world that changes every day. And, most importantly, laugh at the absurdity that is the cost of a gallon of gas.

You are a friendly little cuss, Hazel.  So much so that I feel the need to teach you about Stranger Danger.  But to you, in your innocent world, everyone is a friend.  And everyone is capable of holding you when you demand "UP!".  You love visiting the farm and spending time with Grandma and Grandpa. Especially on Grandma's hammock.  There are so many cool things at the farm... I can't wait until you get a little older and can really enjoy it

.  

You have started to become much more balanced in your demands of who should be paying attention to you.  No longer do you demand that Daddy hold you all the time.  Now, sometimes you actually want Mommy.  Which is awesome.

Seriously, Hazey.  You have turned into such a little girl.  You're not a baby anymore.  (Which I keep reminding you when you try to get in the jump-a-roo) And it happened when I wasn't looking. It's like you turned one... and then the world started to spin faster and you aged and developed at a faster rate than I was able to adjust to.   It wasn't that long ago that you were screaming in my ear all night long.  It wasn't that long ago that you took Daddy and me through the initiation of First Time Parents.  How you managed to escape relatively unharmed is still beyond my comprehension.  And now... now I have this vivacious, happy, not-quite-2-year-old that brings a smile to my face every stinkin' day.  HOW DID YOU DO THAT?  And is the rest of your life going to fly by as quickly?

I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that.  

Love,
Mama

Day In The Life

Benny's off to Idaho for an "epic, babe" fishing trip with his friends and I've got the girls all to myself for the next couple of days.

I don't mind admitting it... a year ago, with just one little girl to look after, the prospect of dealing with her alone for two whole days TERRIFIED me.  But there's something to be said about how time wounds all heels... and also something to be said about growing up and growing into the role of "Mommy".

And I gotta admit, I'm psyched to spend some time together.  Just the three of us. 

Part of this may be because (with the exception of this morning when she couldn't figure out how to get Daddy's onion cutting goggles to fit on her face... and OMG, end of the world!) Hazel has been an absolute doll lately.  She has her moments, sure... but for the most part, she's just a ton of fun.  And then there's Millie.  I'm telling you... this chick is THEEEE coolest baby on the block.  Nothing phases her.  Not her sister walking on her.  Not her sister screaming with joy in her face.  Or her sister stealing her binkie for the zillionth time that morning.

I remember when it was just Hazel and I'd hear her wake up in the morning, I'd get this anxiety like:  OMG... I have to do this all over again??  And thus my day would begin... sometimes on a sour/bitter note.  But I guess I've finally figured out how to be a Mommy and have embraced all that it means.  I totally look forward, every. single. morning. to waking up with my girls.  I look forward to "visiting" with Hazel over breakfast.  Even when that breakfast consists of her eating her applesauce/yogurt/cereal with her hands and then smearing it EVERYWHERE.  I look forward to seeing Millie's smiling face when she (finally) wakes up.  And my day starts off on an amazing note when Hazel loves on her little sister... and Millie can't get enough of her big sister. It's such a heart-warming moment that I get a little teary-eyed every morning.

So, since I know I probably won't remember how these mornings went 20 years from now, I thought I'd document a step-by-step guide to A Weekday in the Life of The Bean and The Bird - Circa Summer 2011:

1) Anywhere between 3:30-5:30 a.m. - Millie wakes up for an early morning snack and then goes back to sleep.  Cuz she's an amazing baby and yep... is sleeping through the night at 5 months.
2) Anywhere between 7:00-7:30 a.m. - Hazel wakes up and starts telling stories in her room.  Mostly about the dots on her sheets, but can include stories about the doggie next to her bed.  Or the Tumblebus she played on two days prior.
3) 7:15-7:30 a.m. - Mommy gets up, showers and gets dressed.  While listening to Hazel's stories.  This includes getting the gym bag, breast pump, cooler for breast milk, miscellaneous items that have to be taken to day care (diapers, wipes, blankies) ready.  And trying to find her keys. 
4) 7:35 a.m. - Mommy gets Hazel out of bed.  If Millie has woken up prior to this, she is waiting for Hazel in the jump-a-roo.
5) 7:36 a.m. - Hazel runs over to Millie and screams with joy right in her face, to which Millie responds with a - wait for it - smile (and a little drool).  Hazel then hugs Millie and starts telling her about the dots on the sheets of her bed. And the Tumblebus... OMG HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE TUMBLEBUS, MILLIE?
6) 7:45 a.m. - Hazel has breakfast.  This usually consists of a banana (nana), toast (boshe) and applesauce.  But can be a pancake if Mommy is feeling ambitious.  Hazel would like for it to include moosh (mousse) for her to put in her hair, but applesauce will do just fine.
7) 8 a.m. - If Millie is awake, we attempt a feeding.  If Millie is still asleep, we attempt to wake her up pleasantly.  This is not always possible with a toddler testing out the socially acceptable limits of her voice.
8) 8:05 a.m. - Mommy changes Millie's diaper and gets her dressed for school. Hazel watches and waits patiently for the opportunity to step on Millie's face or back. 
9) 8:06 a.m. - Mommy attempts to catch Hazel to change her diaper and get her dressed for school.  This requires Mommy to be faster and more mobile around the couch or table than the 21-month-old who thinks this is the greatest. game. EVER.  Even better than Angry Birds. 
10) 8:10 a.m. - After catching Hazel, Mommy must attempt to wrestle a honey badger into a new diaper and an outfit. And honey badger doesn't care.  Honey badger doesn't give a &*%#. Sometimes, honey badger is cooperative and doesn't attempt to kick Mommy in the eye, nose, mouth, or boob.  But sometimes, Mommy has to just hold the honey badger down and wait for submission.  This process can take anywhere from 5 minutes to THE END OF TIME.
11) 8:17 a.m. - Mommy attempts to put her face on. (Over her game face. Which, as a rule, she has on at all times.)  And fails miserably because she has to make sure Hazel isn't drawing on her sisters face with the pen that was accidentally left within reach.  Or allowing her sister to suck on her toes. And Hazel!  Where did you find that sleeve of Ritz crackers?  NO CRACKERS IN THE MORNING!
12) 8:20 a.m. - Oh look!  Mommy forgot to get Hazel's shoes ready with the rest of the outfit.  Repeat steps 9 and 10.
13) 8:24 a.m. - Mommy puts Millie in her carrier... with her blankie, binkie and giraffe.  Millie is just happy to be alive and Hey Mommy!!! Can I possibly be easier?  No?  Okay then!  I'm just gonna sit here and smile while you try to negotiate with my sister about why she can't wear the picture frame she took apart and put over her head. 
14) 8:26 a.m. - Hazel's in her car seat, Millie's in her car seat.  Somehow, even though Mommy has resorted to using binkie leashes, Hazel has procured Millie's binkie and has it in her mouth... in a misguided attempt to help build Millie's immune system.
15) 8:30 a.m. - With any luck, we pull out of the driveway and Mommy hasn't forgotten anything important like the pump, a blankie, a dolly, wallet, swim suit for water day... sanity.
16) 8:31 a.m. - Listen to Chris Brown's Yeah 3x's for the first time that morning.  We will repeat this song the rest of the trip to day care.  If we do not repeat this song the rest of the trip to day care, Hazel will scream MO! MO! MO! at the top of her lungs... waking any sleeping babies in whatever neighborhood we are passing through at that time.  Millie thinks it's hilarious.  Hazel thinks knows she's in charge.  Mommy picks her battles.
17) 8:39 a.m. - Pull into day care, get Millie out, set her on the sidewalk... get Hazel out and with any luck talk her into walking to the door on her own.
18) 8:40 a.m. - Coax her down the stairs with the promise of Second Breakfast.  This is the point where Mommy is grateful she's working out because this is the point of the morning where she actually starts to sweat... what with carrying the car seat, walking backwards down the stairs while encouraging The Bird to move it a little faster cuz people are waiting and Mommy... yep, Mommy's gonna be late for work if you don't hurry up. 
19) 8:42 a.m. - Drop Hazel off with Miss Denise... where she immediately sits at the table and waits patiently for Second Breakfast.  No screaming.  No pounding of the fists on the table.  Has anyone seen my child?  Could have sworn I brought her in here....
20) 8:43 a.m. - Take Millie upstairs to the nursery and try to keep her from noticing the jump-a-roo in a misguided attempt to spend some QT with her before I go to work.  It never works and I eventually have to give up and put her in the jump-a-roo.  Or stick her in front of a mirror so she can look at herself and giggle.
21) 8:47 a.m. - Remember that I forgot my __________(insert something new every day here), and head back home to pick it up before finally getting to the office.

Mommy has not stopped moving all morning... and has not eaten breakfast.  Because that would require an extra set of hands that don't come standard.   What goes on in day care varies from day-to-day with both girls.  But I pick them up around 5 and that consists of:

1) 5ish - Mommy arrives at day care and goes to pick up Millie first.  Millie is, of course, happy and totally cool with being put in her car seat.  Hazel gets passed through the window between the nursery and the Toddler A room... where she immediately latches on to a toy and won't put it away because that would be admitting defeat and THIS TOY GOES WHERE I GO, MOMMY.
2) A little after 5ish - Hazel is screaming and in tears because after the hostage negotiation failed with the toy, Mommy just took the toy... thus devastating The Toddler who had just grown so attached to it in the 2 minutes she had held it.  Millie is, of course, enjoying the show.  Possibly picking up behavioral pointers from The Toddler.  For which Mommy will never forgive The Toddler.
3) A little after a little after 5ish - Mommy carries The Screaming Toddler over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, while carrying Millie in the car seat, and walks down the stairs and heads to the car.  Mommy needs to stop wearing heels.  But let's face it, Mommy's the Strongest Woman Alive and should get a medal for keeping her cool.  After securing The Toddler into the car seat and calming her down with the promise of "Dada" or "cracker", Mommy puts Millie in the car and away we go.
4) 5:15ish - 12th Street is under construction and I sometimes avoid it, but Hazel lurves to point at the big trucks and say "duck" or "tuck". And she also attempts to say tractor (tacktah).  This takes her mind off the fact that Mommy is mean.  Until we get home, at least.
5) 5:25ish - Pull into the driveway and Daddy comes out to welcome his girls home.  Hazel immediately latches on to Daddy and will remain stuck to him like glue the rest of the night.  Which means that Mommy and Millie get some special time together.  Although, Millie is very interested in the rough-housing that is going on with Hazel and Daddy.  Mark my words, Daddy isn't that far away from having two little girls climbing all over him every night.  I can actually see Millie planning it.
6) 6:30ish - Hazel has eaten and is either reading a book with Mommy or Daddy, wrestling with Daddy or taking a bath.  If she is taking a bath, the Nadolski household is pretty calm.  For another 15 minutes. 
7) 6:45ish - Hazel has gotten out of the tub, run into the living room and promptly peed on the carpet.  Mommy or Daddy is feeding Millie
8) 7ish - Millie is asleep and will stay that way until morning.  WORD
9) 7:15 - We start the process of putting Hazel to bed.  This includes reading a book, brushing her teeth, telling her we love her and putting her down.  Takes a total of maybe 15 minutes. 
10) 7:30 - Kids are asleep.  House is blown up.  Mommy and Daddy are wiped. 

It's a good life. 

Note:  It took me three days to write this... Benny got home last night.  I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the girls, but it's nice to be a whole family once again. 

On The Bi-Polarness of Toddlerhood

One of the very first things I had to learn as a Mommy was patience. 

As in:

Just be patient... She probably WON'T scream all night.  Just most of it.
Just be patient...  She'll eventually stop moving long enough for you to change her diaper.  Maybe just in time to potty train.
Just be patient...  She'll grow out of it.  No.  She won't.
Just be patient...  And give her some goddamned Tylenol, already!

Patience is a virtue that honestly, I have to learn and re-learn every single day.  Especially when we're living the movie/documentary of Toddlerhood: The Bi-Polar Years.

I remember, before I had a toddler, thinking to myself:  "Seriously... I survived the first three months of parenthood... having a toddler should be a piece of cake.  It can't possibly be as bad as I've heard."

Fast forward 17 months later and OMG... those people - the people that people quote as "they"... as in "they say that the toddler years will make you want rip off your own arm and beat the next stranger that passes by with it.."... THEY WERE RIGHT.

Honestly, we hardly have a day where there's not some kind of a dramatic scene the likes of Grey's Anatomy - or, I dunno, American Idol, maybe? - have never seen.  Not that we actually watch these shows anymore... because we're often in the middle of a full-on meltdown.  Usually caused by Mommy or Daddy not doing exactly what The Toddler wants.  Be it holding her, not holding her, not cutting her grapes/bananas/insert other choking hazard here fast enough, feeding her, not letting her play with matches, not letting her drink bleach... you know, things that you start to wonder "Is the fit really worth it?  I mean, how harmful can bleach really be?"

And I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of being patient, when all I want to do is rationally explain to The Toddler that it's not okay to hit Mommy in the face because you didn't want peas tonight.  Why can't you, a thriving - albeit verbally-challenged - 20 month old understand the concept of ONE. MOOD?  Mommy's not down with the Happy-One-Second, Deranged-The-Next Personality Disorder of The Terrible 16 Months and Up. 

That's right... Terrible Twos?  Please.  I would give my pregnancy-induced cavity-filled teeth for this crap to have started when she was 24 months.

I cannot keep up with the I want up, I want down, I want peas, THE PEAS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME, MOMMY!  WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?, I love you, I hate you, I want my dolly, DON'T TOUCH MY DOLLY!, I want your phone, Your phone is my phone, My phone is my phone... the rest of you can go screw yourself... And if you ever even think about taking my phone (your phone) away from me, the eruption that will take place will make Vesuvius look like a mere pimple bursting.... mentality of The Toddler Years.

Honestly... can't. keep. up. 


"They" keep saying that one day we'll look back at this period in our lives with melancholy about how easy life was... and how fleeting these times are. 

I suspect I'll look back on these days and think... I cannot believe they made it out alive. 

Because, honestly?  "These days" are the reasons that some animals eat their young.