Sunday, February 16, 2014

The Styrofoam Perspective

The morning started off a little hectic.  Someone didn't like that we were having Cheerios with milk.  And she also didn't like that she had to wear a nice sweater with 3/4 sleeves, rather than the tank-top she had her heart set on while it was 30 degrees outside.  So, when Mommy turned her back, guess who accidentally-on-purpose spilled her milk ALL OVER HERSELF?

Someone else was upset because she wanted 500 ponytails, and Mommy only gave her two.

Someone else was upset because he'd left his car at the office and couldn't get out of the chaos sooner because he needed a ride to work.

And then someone else was all:   "What's the big deal?  I call this a Tuesday!"

Luckily, things calmed down rather quickly (as they always do on Tuesdays) and we piled in the car to head to day care.  I had forgotten that it was Show and Share Day, but The Bird had apparently remembered and Daddy had helped her pick out something to take.  Can't remember to put on underwear every day, but totally remembers Show and Share Day every Tuesday...  but, whatever.

We were almost to day care when The Bird started screaming and sobbing. I looked in the rear view mirror and... yes, yes indeed... her face is melting off.  This isn't exactly out of the norm for her, but it wasn't clear this time what the deal was until Benny turned around in his seat to address the face melting.

"It's okay, sweetie!  Look!  Now you have two pieces of styrofoam.  And two is better than one!"
"Um... styrofoam?"
"Yea.  It's Show and Share Day."
"And you gave her styrofoam?"
"Hey!  She picked that piece out all on her own!  What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that it's styrofoam.  And not even a solid piece of styrofoam!  No... it's two pieces of broken styrofoam!  Who brings broken styrofoam for show and share?  I normally don't care what people think, but surely we can do better than two pieces of broken styrofoam! PEOPLE WILL TALK!"

"No way!  She loves it!  She wants to share it with her friends."
"She is NOT sharing styrofoam at Show and Share."

And thus began the mad scramble of digging through the console of the car to find something acceptable to share with The Bird's class.

Found:  Half bottle of tums, knock-off Louis Vitton clutch, phone charger cords for phones we no longer own, a half-dozen receipts for airport parking, the collar my cat used to wear which I've been apparently holding on to since she died 3 years ago, a Cadbury egg that someone had hidden from me at least 2 years ago, one earring, a kids toothbrush, STAMPS!, a baby sock, half-eaten bag of Jalapeno Cheetos, parking ticket from WSU, a DVD of an ultrasound of The Bean in the womb, an empty CD case, a wash cloth, Bonnie's fish collar from when she was just tiny and didn't make my brain bleed, MY DISCOVER CARD!, 87 cents in pennies and nickles, a looney from our trip to England 7 years ago... and Jimmy Hoffa.

I know. It's a big console.

Not Found:  Anything "shareable". better believe I sold The Bird on taking Bonnie's collar to class.  "Look!  Look at the fishies on her collar!  Those are Daddy's favorite animals! Can you remember when Bonnie was so small that this fit on her neck?"

The more I think about it, I'm not sure why I was so upset by the styrofoam.  I mean, the woman writing this?  As a little girl, her parents brought peacocks to Show and Tell when she was in 1st grade... Live peacocks.  Plural.  More than one.  And she then had to help chase said peacocks down when they got loose in the school.

The SAME little girl also introduced her school to lice in the 2nd grade because her parents had caught a rock chuck and kept him as a pet... and did you KNOW that animal lice can live on humans, too?

(Side note:  When The Biologist I Sleep With heard this story, he told me to change rock chuck to yellow-bellied marmot because it's the same thing as a rock chuck, but sounds soooo much worse.  "I mean, WHO KEEPS A YELLOW-BELLIED MARMOT AS A PET, BABE?"  I told him he was getting to biologist-y on me, and people around here?  They know what a rock chuck is... and they'll be asking themselves the same. exact. question.)

You know what?  Styrofoam would have been absolutely fine. 

1 comment:

Carrie - Worth Pinning said...

Thanks for the clarification on rock chunk...not from around there! I bet it would have been interesting to hear her describe the styrofoam and why it was important.