Monday, February 24, 2014


Last night, while we were waiting for the tubby to get ready, The Bird sat on my lap and gave me ferberts on my neck to make "tooting noises".

"Oh no!" I said.  "You tooted on me! Gross!!!"

This made her giggle with the innocence of a kid blowing ferberts and having that be the best thing EVER. Better than Disneyland.  Better than ice cream.  Better than a new dress. She continued to blow ferberts on me and I continued to make her laugh by saying she was tooting on me.

After a while, I started to tickle her when she leaned in to give a ferbert and she erupted in a fit of giggles. This went on for five minutes.  There was so much laughing and bonding... it was a beautiful moment for me.  There was no better place in the world at that moment than sitting in our kitchen, listening to my 4-year-old's laughter, while her sister sat next to us and watched and laughed.  The Bean never made a move to get in on the action, suprisingly.  She just sat there with her blankie and laughed with - and at  - her sister.

After a while, I told The Bird to go give daddy a ferbert.  As she ran off to make toot noises on his shoulder, The Bean climbed on to my lap. She smiled at me and leaned in for what I expected to be a ferbert on my neck.

Instead, she lovingly put her head on my chest, patted me softly on the shoulder, sighed deeply...


A full-on, no holds barred FART.  At first, I was confused.  Did what I think just happened... JUST HAPPEN???

And then she leaned back, looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes... and threw her head back and laughed like the evil genius she is.

Lest I think that it was a coincidence, she did it two more times.  Sheer will-powered farts on my lap.  Followed by hysterical laughing.  Both hers... and mine.

Because I'm a good mom that way.

Later that night, when I was recounting what happened to Benny, I admitted that I really shouldn't have been surprised.  She is HIS daughter, after all. He had the nerve to be offended that I was suggesting that he, himself, was able to toot through sheer willpower.

For about 15 seconds.

Before he demonstrated that it was, in fact, true.

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