Monday, June 1, 2009

Bump Watch - 19 Weeks

I was in Anaheim for work this week, and while I normally don't mind traveling to these types of events, I was rather put out this time because flying to Anaheim includes.... flying. And right now, my bladder maxes out at about 30 minutes... and, just as an FYI to any flight attendants out there reading this: Calling it a "quick" hour long flight to Anaheim in a teeny-tiny regional jet DOES. NOT. MAKE. IT. SO.

And when the flight attendant tells you that the flight time is just a little under an hour, it's exactly like being told at mile 25 of a marathon that there's just one mile left. If I hadn't been sitting in the very back of the plane, I would have had to hit her.

Prior to the trip to Anaheim, Benny and I and our friends Ryan and Kaylene flew out to Edmonton, Alberta, for a wedding. And THAT flight was a lovely 3 hours. THREE. HOURS. I almost died. The only thing that made it bearable was that I was traveling with Benny and he was able to take the brunt of my complaining... that's his role in this pregnancy, apparently. And I love him for it.

Randy and Joana's wedding was beautiful and it was great to see so many of our old friends there. Benny and I tore up the dance floor... which means that we bounced up and down (off-beat) while Randy's 10-year-old nephew danced circles around us Michael Jackson-style.

In fact, the only time we really got down was when Salt-n-Pepa's "Push It" came on. It was hard not to take advantage to the lyrics: "Oooo baby, baybay! B-baby-babay! Oooo, baby, baybay! B-baby-babay!" by rubbing the belly and swinging it around 360 degrees knocking over real dancers in cute dresses that did not have a belly-band attached to their attire. This... this is where the weight gain is TOTALLY worth it.

In short, we did our part to draw attention to the belly and let on-lookers wonder how much we'd had to drink. Because no one in their right mind would do that STONE. COLD. SOBER. (Enter the soon-to-be parents from O-Town... stage left).

Week 19 has been interesting, to say the least. In general, food doesn't taste good to me right now. I don't know if that's related to the fact that drinking water gives me heartburn and my body is self-consciously telling me not to bother with food because I'll feel terrible afterwards, or if it's the baby telling me that maybe eating an enchilada for breakfast isn't the way to go. I mean, really... it could be anything.

I've also started to become... shall we say, put out?... by things that I never would have noticed before. Things that now make me want to pull my ears off and throw at the perpetrator and scream: "Put those on and tell me how pleasant that sound is now??"

This came to a head at the Edmonton Airport when a group of men sat down at a table next to us in the restaurant where we'd stopped to grab breakfast. Nevermind the fact that I was already irritated with them because they took forever to check in and they didn't seem to notice the lasers coming out of my eyes, burning a hole in the back of their heads as we waited for them to check-in.

But, I digress. I'm telling you right now: THEY COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE LOUD. They could have tried, but they would have failed miserably. I mean, how hard is it, really, to lift the chair up and GENTLY pull it out vs acting like animals and scraping the chair against the floor?? Where is our dignity? Where is our humanity? For Pete's Sake, where is my hot chocolate????

As a public service message, let me just give you all this bit of advice: If you see a pregnant woman about to lose it for no good reason, consider shutting up, and making sure your sandwich wrapper doesn't make too much noise. Or she may go postal on you. And it won't be pretty.

- There is no hiding the belly now. It is here to stay for the next few months.
- Heartburn. All. The. Time. Even Tums isn't coming to the rescue right now!
- I might be a tad irritable... but that's entirely conjecture.
- Benny says my gas is subsiding. Which is good because THAT was unreasonable.
- Noise is driving me nuts. Any kind of noise.
- I've had some serious acne that will. not. die.

- I really, REALLY need to find a good bra. This is getting ridiculous.

- It would be really great if people stopped talking or scraping their chairs on the floor in front of me.

- Right before we left for the airport to go to Edmonton, Randy called Benny to tell us to pack some "clubbin' clothes". *Blink* *Blink* I BARELY have clothes that fit that are appropriate for going to K-Mart. You think I can just magically find something to go clubbin' in? NOT. HAPPENING.

- Seriously... not even my skorts from The Center of the Universe (Costco) are fitting well, anymore.

- I got a Bella Band so that I can wear some of my old shorts longer... but I'm not exactly thrilled with the way it's working right now because you can still see the outline of the shorts underneath the band and the shirt and it looks weird. Like maybe I'm carrying a Terminator baby.

- Bought my first pair of maternity underwear. THIS IS NOT OKAY. The amount of material I pulled out of that container could have fit two elephants. Strike one for maternity clothes.

- Eh. Blah.

Smells I Can't Stand
- Canned corn
- Other people eating peanuts. Kaycee is in serious violation of this. ALL THE TIME.

Bonus Features
- Got to try on Randy's Canadian Football Championship rings. Never had so much bling on in my life!

- We had a great time in Edmonton with everyone. Traveled with Ryan and Kaylene and had a blast! We've decided that once a year the four of us need to go on a trip together!

- Apparently I still have the glow, so that's good. Just ignore the zits on top of the glow and no one will get hurt.

- Met the Cincinnati Bengals starting outside linebacker. Benny called him by the wrong name all. night. long. and he never said a thing. Nice guy. Salt of the earth. And he didn't even try to rub the belly!!!

- Visited Cheesecake Factory for the first time in my life... finally found a food that tasted good. Who. Knew? There's a reason I won't be back to Cheesecake Factory for a while. I'm just sayin'.

19 Weeks!

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